This mini monologue, which is about contacting a girl, needs revision.

My suggestion is absolute focus on grammar.

" when we had given the project a..."

( when we had been given the project ...
or when we were given the project ...)

" girl which I had crush on was on my team."
( girl, who I had a crush on was on my team.)
Who for persons and which for things.

There are places, where small case i is used instead of capital I.

With necessary edits in place, this piece of prose will look better.

Write on!







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .