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Review #4712572
Viewing a review of:
 Prayers Open in new Window. [E]
Philosophical Prayers
by Vanishing Vapor Author Icon
Review of Prayers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hallo!
I saw this on the Hub as a recent static item. The title intrigued me and I clicked. Maybe you could expand the brief description a bit. The genres work.

I like the layout, with the 'peace' symbol on top. The poem itself is lovely! The rhyme scheme and words chosen work well, and I enjoyed reading all the people you pray for and what you wish for them.

Suggestions:
1. Since the rhyme scheme is abcb, you may like to divide the poem into 4-line verses.
2. While the rest of the poem fitted in beautifully, the last line, 'slumber in peace' could have many interpretations. I get where you're coming from with this line, that the dreams should be good ones, but it could also imply that the person only keeps sleeping and dreaming and not wake up and do something to realise those dreams. You might want to tweak that like a little bit! (This is just my opinion.)

Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.
Write On,
Duck sig - thanks Falguni!
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