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Given: Sep 16, 2023 at 1:34pm
Length: 1,334 Characters |
1,161 w/o WritingML
Disclaimer:
I may suggest changes in my review. This is not meant as 'serious' literary criticism (I’m no expert). It's merely my record of the ‘bumps’ I encounter as I travel through your words. If I'm thrown by a typo, an awkward word, or a line that doesn't scan, then it's likely that others will be as well. My intent in giving a review is to applaud your work and maybe help you to improve it. A review is merely another reference to consider. If the suggestions prove useful, then use them. If I ‘just don’t get it’, then by all means ignore me!
I found this story on Read & Review and enjoyed reading it. It's well written with realistic dialogue that evokes strong feelings. it captures the tension of right vs wrong, the bonds of family, and the obligations of gratitude.
The only thing I can suggest is that I would have liked a slightly different ending. Not that the ending is wrong, but I would prefer something along the lines of 'then they'll have to kill us both'. But that's just me.
Keep writing!
Words Whirling 'Round A poet merely pens a mirror, the reader brings the reflection.
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