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Given: Sep 15, 2023 at 5:09am
Length: 2,115 Characters |
1,659 w/o WritingML
Hello Born to win This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.
Wow. What a different story. I enjoyed reading it.
Is English a second language for you? The reason I believe so is because you left out a lot of 'the's, a's, an's, etc... Maybe try writing in your language and then using a language translator. Grammarly can also help you.
Title and Description - Your title was definitely unique and grabbed my attention. After I read your description I was urged to read on to find out more!
Theme/Subject Matter:- A wife is in an accident, and the husband is embedded into his own wife as his memories about her merges.
Originality/Creativity:- A must unique and creative story.
Emotion/Impact: - The story is a bit confusing but shows the intense love the husband has for his wife.
My Suggestions -
There are a lot of mistakes as far as words being left out. I'll go over a few of them to give you an idea:
We belong to joint family.
we belong to a joint family.
She admitted in to
She was admitted into
injuries on head
injuries on her head
I'd reconsider writing chapters for such a short piece that's more like flash fiction. Write it without the chapters and just separate it into paragraphs. I think it will help it read more smoothly.
Summary: If you decide to edit this, please let me know, and I'll come back and reread and rerate it for you. Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.
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