\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4712155
Review #4712155
Viewing a review of:
 I became a wife to my self Open in new Window. [E]
About brain snapshot restoration
by Born to win Author Icon
Review by 👼intuey Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Born to win Author Icon This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" Open in new Window. [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* Wow. What a different story. I enjoyed reading it.
Is English a second language for you? The reason I believe so is because you left out a lot of 'the's, a's, an's, etc... Maybe try writing in your language and then using a language translator. Grammarly can also help you. *Smile*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Your title was definitely unique and grabbed my attention. After I read your description I was urged to read on to find out more!

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- A wife is in an accident, and the husband is embedded into his own wife as his memories about her merges.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- A must unique and creative story.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The story is a bit confusing but shows the intense love the husband has for his wife.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions -

There are a lot of mistakes as far as words being left out. I'll go over a few of them to give you an idea:

*Reading* We belong to joint family.

we belong to a joint family.

*Penv* She admitted in to

She was admitted into

*Bookstack2* injuries on head

injuries on her head

I'd reconsider writing chapters for such a short piece that's more like flash fiction. Write it without the chapters and just separate it into paragraphs. I think it will help it read more smoothly. *Smile*

*Peng*Summary: If you decide to edit this, please let me know, and I'll come back and reread and rerate it for you. Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. *Heart*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

A signature for WDC Angel Army

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4712155