The Dark Marionette [E] A different kind of puppet show. |
Hi Anni Pon! I'm reviewing The Dark Marionette for today's SuperPower Reviewers Raid. As a fellow student of writing, I offer my comments and suggestions in hopes you'll find something useful to you in your writing journey. Impressions First: wow! The first and last lines of this flash fiction were real zingers! I admit read the first sentence twice before I continued to the second sentence and my brain caught up. I don't think this reflects on your writing–I was in a slow-moving headspace when I began the story instead of being alert because I knew I was about to read flash-fiction. What was I thinking? Suggestions: This is so good, and your one hundred words are so well chosen, I had a hard time finding anything I could bring up to help improve this story. One thing I did notice is that you've only chosen two of the three genres available to you. I'm sure you've been told to always use all three genres openings and all the reasons why, my guess is you meant to go back and add another one after you submitted this for the challenge and forgot to return to it (something I do when I'm fighting a deadline). You have Dark and Thriller/suspense. I'd suggest that you add Horror/Scary as your third genre. Take-Away: I love this story because it's sharp and quick and full of the promise of terror. Really impressive for a Drabble! I'm giving you 5 stars, since adding a third genre shouldn't count against your writing. Awesome job with this one! Thanks for the opportunity to review your flash fiction! I wish you all the best in your writing journey. Write on! Invalid Photo #1068504 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|