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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4711818
Review #4711818
Viewing a review of:
 Deep In The Woods  [E]
Avery didn't know why he wanted her, all she knew was, she needed to run.
by J. A. Cunningham
Review of Deep In The Woods  
Review by DragonPrince
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
What?? The tree is her father?? That has blown my mind. *Mindblown*. I was not expecting it to be her father. I guess that it's quite hard to speak when you are a tree because he sounded like he was struggling. I loved the story, and would read more like this. However, there were some mistakes, which is a shame, because I thought it was amazing.
Anyways, when you were speaking about him swinging the stick, you could have removed the 'while'. It would make it sound much better. When you were speaking about the tree reaching down a branch too pat Avery, you didn't add a comma after 'down'. You also spelt realised wrong. you also repeated 'up' twice, when he was being lifted by the tree. Apart from that it was great. Keep posting.

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