Welcome to WdC.

Your story has great potential. The plot seems to be based on possible true events. The characters are believable. Adding to your story would be a great way to explain more about who these characters are, and why they are doing what they do, and give the reader reason to want to read more of your story by making it show what happens.

Please consider adding to the genres for your story so that people can find it easily and possibly it can be nominated for the quills. You could use drama, family, tragedy, or others for example.

Emotions inward and outward show how characters react to situations. How does she feel during her experience?

What motivates the guy to do what he does?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .