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Review #4711302
Viewing a review of:
 Mr. President  [13+]
An English assignment - I had to write a story as if I were Ray Bradbury.
by caillefille
Review of Mr. President  
Review by the last cicada
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


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*Laugh* I have only read one Ray Bradbury story: Fahrenheit 451. And the teachers made me read it!

I picked this story because my curiosity got the better of me.

Plus, I have never attempted to write in anyone's style. With that said, I just couldn't resist taking a peek.


The night was dark, and not a light could be seen for miles.
Love how it starts. Conjures up a bit of scenery.

... except for one man.
So far description continues to loop me into the story.

The last time a Martian president hadn't been forced ... ... of many Martian presidents.
I found this paragraph hard to read. I'm not quite sure how to interpret hadn't. I assume, that 300 years ago, there was no provocation, but the Martian president still went to war.

Also, I am not sure who the emperor is too. Just a bit difficult to follow here. Unless, perhaps the Martian president didn't have to fix the problem because the emperor took care of it?

For generations Mars had been begging... ... Venus had refused.
Too complicated for me. This must be why I didn't read more Ray Bradbury. I prefer stories that focus on up to a maximum of 3 main characters with slow introduction of any additional characters. And I also avoid political stuff. Makes my head spin.

Alexandria, Mars' capitol.
I guess that I was expecting capital.

They had been ... ... tampering with his heart.
A lot of deep thoughts here.

*Shock2* I plugged through it all.

To be honest, I did not expect the ending. It was fantastic! I'm not sure that the President resolved any problems between Earth and Mars but it does seem fitting that his last action will produce more issues, and add more complexity to the currently hot political climate. I'm certain that the tension among the Martians will continue to increase with possibility of civil war?

I feel the artistic endeavor was successful in capturing a moment in Martian history through the eyes of the president. The imagery is pretty clear and well balanced and flows consistently throughout the telling. Also, surprisingly, I feel that the story gained much more when I read it through a second time.

eg: the flag going down in flames made more sense afterwards. I don't know if I can truly imagine the president's thoughts, but I have a feeling that he needed to take something of Alexandria with him. He had already lost his family, and in a sense the flag was the only family he had left.

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and complex story.

~ Amy
the last cicada (deadbluesea)

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