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 Review #4710962 |
 | Malls next step  [E] Savouring a truth  |
| (3.5)| I chose this one to review because it's a vignette and actually labelled as such. Not often I get one of those, especially one that knows what it is! Essentially, the piece is about a lady who knows a secret and contemplates speaking it to a certain someone to obtain a desired result. The content of the secret is never revealed, nor is the nature of the character concerned; even the name of the lady is unknown (unless "Duchess" is her nickname rather than her title). All we are told is that the Duchess relishes the thought of telling the secret. It is little enough on which to build a story but this is both a sample and a vignette - so it's sufficient. Where I feel slightly short-changed is in the dearth of description of her surroundings. I think a vignette needs to concentrate more on description than plot and this piece cries out for it. For instance, "the suns dappled rays peppered brightness upon her" has interest beyond the typo of the sun having lost its apostrophe, but how did it become dappled? I must presume that there are branches and foliage above her but why am I not told about them? It's a perfect intro to describe the scene but it doesn't happen - a few more words would set the lady in place and we could more easily imagine the picture. The rest of the vignette is concerned only with the lady's thoughts on the telling of the secret. It would work better if we were given at least a vague idea of the secret's content, but we aren't. Unless, of course, I'm too literal-minded to understand from the clues what it's all about. I would guess that I'm not alone in this. So the essence of what I'm saying is that the piece needs a little more. Some background painting to brighten it up, and a little more info to hold the reader's interest. It's not bad but it could be better. Then you could add a couple more genres under the relevant tab and you'd pull in a few more readers.    Beholden  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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