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Hello, loneplayboy! I found your story through the Read & Review feature. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You've written a good basis for a longer story, so I think it deserves a title and a description to draw the reader in. You can always mention the contest at the end of the story. The one distraction was the use of the ampersand. (&). It's best to use the word spelled out: and. For the ease of reading, a blank link in-between the paragraphs would be good. I think there's a word limit on the story, but if you ever edit it, consider expanding further on the descriptions of what the character is feeling to show more emotion. The only part I had a hard time visualizing is when Legend defended himself against the man taking the bread. I don't think that action would draw blood. It would have to be a weapon of some sort. ![]() ![]() ~Lornda ![]() ![]()
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