The comedy is strong with this one. Though its advertised as a lousy poem. It seems to be 5 minutes well spent and definitely made me smile. You managed to even fit in a rhyme scheme.

Some of the rhymes feel like they are so bad they are good i.e. grudge-l. I admire the bravery in using them.

For poetry I recommend keeping track of the syllable count to make your work pop out more. Example cutting the syllables down in line 8 would make it sound better i.e. "her cudgel went straight for my head" though that may take more time to think through.

Also a really nice touch listing Gothic and Horror/Scary as the Genre. It made it so much more funnier when I found out what the poem was actually about. Well Done!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .