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 Review #4710516 |
 | Suborbital Flight  [13+] Too much is not always a good thing.  |
| (4.5)| Disclaimer: I may suggest changes in my review. This is not meant as 'serious' literary criticism (I’m no expert). It's merely my record of the ‘bumps’ I encounter as I travel through your words. If I'm thrown by a typo, an awkward word, or a line that doesn't scan, then it's likely that others will be as well. My intent in giving a review is to applaud your work and maybe help you to improve it. A review is merely another reference to consider. If the suggestions prove useful, then use them. If I ‘just don’t get it’, then by all means ignore me! I found this piece on Read & Review and enjoyed it a lot. It's a fun poem with good rhythm and natural rhymes. The topic is easy to relate to, and the ending provides a smile. I liked your images, especially these lines: Relaxed in semi-state of sleep while very much awake I also found a couple of spots that didn't sound quite right to my ear, so i offer these suggestions for your consideration: Once, when I was running down the road out in the countryside. And when I felt the runner's high come on I and went up for a ride. I recognized the curve of Earth and saw the glare of sun. Within my mind I heard alarms, but I was having fun. I pitched head first and made to make descent like spaceships heading home. It then occurred to me my mind had ample room to roam. I also think the second to last verse could be improved, but nothing specific comes to mind. Overall, this is a good read. Keep writing! Words Whirling 'Round A poet merely pens a mirror, the reader brings the reflection.       My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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