My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE ARTICLE

The article gives a write up/narration of a virtual reality game.
WHAT I LIKED

I thought the narration touched on several qualities the game would develop such as determination, resilience, and adaptability, which are all admirable qualities to take into real life.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There is no dialogue.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to describe what you should expect from the game as a player.

SETTING

TIME: futuristic setting


This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

There is no main character, just narration giving an overview of what to expect from the game.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My constructive parting thought/suggestion would be to slow down and read the rules of a contest and if I had any questions, ask. While the article's (Bard's Hall Contest Entry) narration reads well to entice me to play the game it describes, it's more "telling" than "showing," in that I expected to read a story actually involving a virtual player in a game per the rules of the contest, than a description of a virtual game that a player would play.

Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.