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Given: Sep 4, 2023 at 8:07am
Length: 2,817 Characters |
2,046 w/o WritingML
Hello ziggerzaggle Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.
This is a poignant piece of prose that really made me think. I truly enjoyed reading it, and find it quite interesting.
Title and Description - I like the title. It matches the prose perfectly. It drew my attention and made me want to read on.
I'd capitalize the first letter of each word
You should use the description to give a brief explanation of what your writing is about. I think it would draw in more readers.
Theme/Subject Matter:- It's about a teen traveling throughout life.
Characters - The reader gets to know the character well through his thoughts of those and the things he comes across in his walking travels.
Originality/Creativity:- I love the originality of this piece. Quite creative!
Emotion/Impact: - It truly gave me pause and made me stop, think and reflect.
My Suggestions - These are just a few of my thoughts and suggestions on your writing. Please use are discard them as you see fit.
thighs. outside the window,
Capitalize the O in outside.
bird, spotted through
bird, was spotted through
waiting on the world
waiting for...
but of course he thought
comma needed after 'course'
remembering times that he
remembering times when...
talked at him.
talked to...
permanent, purposeful.
permanent, and...
his back, listens
his back, and...
to adjust. when people
Capitalize 'when'
hurt yet, he's more
hurt yet, and...
Of course he's not gonna
Comma after 'course'
no problem. In reality
with no problem. In reality,
brooklyn{c}
Capitalize Brooklyn
Summary: I truly enjoyed reading your prose. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!
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