I really like this short. It seems to have an Isekai genre feel to it (where a character travels from one world to another).

There are some great bits of description in this storyline. I like the way the transition the lead character goes through from one world to the next is described. It is told in a way that makes the reader feels connected to the character as if they are coming along with the lead. Similarly the locations (The Backrooms and The Pools) are depicted in a way that makes them easy to visualize as are the creatures she encounters (i.e the Abyssal). You can also feel the panic the lead is going through as the short closes.

It is not clear if this is meant to be a one shot or if the storyline is a lead into something larger. The ending bring a dark close to the story if that is the desired outcome. It is definitely good groundwork for a larger storyline if it is the latter case. In either scenario, I think the short be can expanded a bit. It might help to describe segments with the character in the real world in the beginning. Going into her life is like and give some motivations of why she liked frequenting the backlands website. It will help the reader connect with the character and make the character getting trapped at the close all the more powerful.

That said, this is really great writing and I really enjoyed reading this.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .