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Review #4709747
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Review by 👼intuey Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Monalisa Vandercox Author Icon Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" Open in new Window. [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* I enjoyed reading your poem. I know the feeling all too well. I hope happiness has found you again, if not, hopefully, it will soon. *Smile*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Good title. It pulled me in to want to read further. The description is also good and urged me to read on.

I wonder though: Isn't depression a form of being stuck in the past? When we're healthy in mind, we don't really want to move backward. Just my thoughts. *Smile*

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- About a woman who once lived each day happy but is now finding it hard to find joy in life. To find any meaning.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- You did a good job showing the juxtaposing sides of life and our emotions.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The emotional impact was strong and left me feeling sad for the writer. Hoping that if she hasn't already that soon happiness and smiles will find her once again.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - Please know these are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Bookstack2* My heart is broken
All my scars are open
All I had is gone now
Impossible to go back to to before

I think your poem is good but may read smoother with just changing a few words around.

My heart has been broken
My scars have busted open.
All I had is now gone,
It's impossible to go back.

*Penv* Love filled my soul
All things seemed possible then

*Bookstack3* Now I have broken trust
Empty promises
I don't feel my worth
All I see is hidden now

Now my trust is broken

What I see is now hidden.

*Peng* I am feeling everything at once

I feel everything at once.

*Peng*Summary: I truly enjoyed reading your piece. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/03/2023 @ 12:47am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4709747