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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4709667
Review #4709667
Viewing a review of:
 Love is the Best Part  [E]
"mean folks never earn..this...feeling...prideful people consider..Themselves too special"
by Tim Chiu
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hallo!
This poem showed up on 'read and review' and I'm so glad it did.

You speak a truth - that those who are arrogant or petty cannot know love in its depth, as they are blocking themselves from receiving it. I didn't quite understand what you meant by 'unsure', because if they are simply indecisive they can learn to love ...

SUGGESTIONS:
1. I think I'd have liked to see a bit more!
Like perhaps, the reasons why people become prideful or mean. Was it something that happened in their childhood that made them this way? Is it actually a deep feeling of insecurity that is masked by arrogance? Are they, therefore, to be pitied instead of blamed?
2. Also - a bit about the positive side, how humble, gracious people experience joy ... ?
3. My other suggestion is for the layout of the poem - maybe some WritingML like font, size, center.

Thanks for sharing this poem!
Please know that it works beautifully as it is, my suggestions are only because I want to read more!

Write On!

Gifted by Secret Squirrel, created by Kiya. Thank you!
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