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 Review #4672455 |
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| (4.5)| Hi BB  ,Welcome to Writing.Com!  I happened upon your poem and thought I'd leave a review.Overall Impression: I would be the first to admit that I am far from an expert on religious poetry, but this piece is so filled with love and faith that I couldn't simply pass it by. It caught my attention and held it throughout because you painted a clear picture of your beliefs. There is such an anticipation of pure joy that I couldn't resist sending a review to let you know that you captured the imagination of at least one reader. I enjoyed the imagery in this poem. You have a vision of what is to be, and I was right there beside you, seeing and hearing all that you describe. The emotions woven through the imagery make an impact. It's cleverly done. On the technical side of things, this poem reads well, apart from one tiny thing that I'll address in my suggestions. It has a consistent rhyming scheme. Overall, I think you've done a good job here. Suggestions: I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope you'll find them helpful! Stanza 3:  ...sound of trumpets, fill...'fill' should be fills. General Suggestions: I am a big fan of punctuation in poetry. Therefore, I am grateful that you use punctuation throughout this item. It assists the overall clarity and reading experience. However, there are just two little things: I am not sure why sentences are ended with two periods instead of just the one? There are some unnecessary commas breaking up some of the lines. This made me stumble in places, breaking what otherwise would be a good rhythm and flow. A couple of examples: I can hear, the angels... No comma needed here. As the Gospel Ship, leaves... No comma needed here, either. It may be worth going through the poem to see where you can remove some (and where to keep them, of course). I suggest allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. That would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.My Rating: This is a good religious/spiritual poem. I enjoyed the read. I did have a few suggestions. Nothing major, however. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 10/01/2022 @ 2:18am EDT