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Review #4672324
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Review by Lornda Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hello, Kit Author Icon!

*Floral4* I'm reviewing your poem for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" Open in new Window.. *Floral4*


*Bulletb* I enjoyed reading your poem! Right from the opening verse, I could feel the pain of the main character as she deals with a dark time in her life. The verses after that describe the struggle she has to maintain some sort of dignity from this abusive man and the hope she has of becoming free from it one day. A well-written poem! *Starb*

*Bulletb* When I first saw the genres, I wondered how well 'Psychology' would fit into the poem, and after reading it, all three genres are chosen perfectly. The title and description caught my attention and are a good hook to draw the reader into the poem.

*Bulletb* The word choice was done well to portray her pain and anger, so it was easy to read and put myself in her place. I don't have much to offer in the way of suggestions, but I will mention there were two words that slowed the reading down for me. In the second verse, I think this line would be stronger without the word 'felt' in it because it describes what she feels with the phrasing of ...she'd awoken *Pointright* With every syllable spoken
it felt as... With the first line in the third verse, I don't think the word 'that' is necessary, but it's probably just me. Lol! It's said that silence is golden,...

*Bulletb* I had a few favorite descriptions which painted a good visual. This one is an awesome depiction of how she felt around this man: ..the cracks of the shells she tip-toed on... *Starstruck* I also enjoyed the last line to end the poem. Even though it's a dark poem, I thought it might end with everything rosy for her, but instead, we get to feel the hope she has when she's free from the relationship. I'm glad I had the opportunity to stop by. Keep up the great writing!

~Lornda

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