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 Review #4672253 |
| (4.5)| Hi Elfin Dragon-finally published  ,I am reviewing your poem for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" [E].  Overall Impression: This is a poem about who and what has helped shape you over the years, into the person you are today. There are many influences throughout our life that affect us to a greater and lesser extent - our family, our occupation and, indeed, our faith. I found this to be an interesting topic, and one that I can relate to. I liked that you didn't just mention those who came before you, but the younger generation as well. I know that the birth of my niece changed me - I want to set a good example for her. She'll be 10 years old in a few months' time, and I am very proud of her. A major influence on your life is your faith, and I find that understandable. Our faith affects us in many ways and helps us be the people we aspire to be, through good times and bad - it's a constant to hold onto, and our prayers can be a source of comfort and reflection. My own relationship with God is not always what I'd like it to be. I have questions, and doubts. But I've never given up. Never let go. I hope that, one day, it will be as strong as yours. On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has an easy rhythm and flow. Well done!  Suggestions: I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you'll find them helpful! Stanza 1:  In line two, 'Parents' should be parents. General Suggestion: In some places in your poem you allow the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. In others, you do not. I suggest a slight edit for greater clarity and consistency, and I'd opt for, indeed, letting the capitalisation depend on the individual sentences. That would perfect the overall reading experience.My Rating: This is a pleasant, gentle poem about those who guide us through life. I found it to be an enjoyable read. I had a couple of suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/28/2022 @ 7:07pm EDT