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Review #4659227
Viewing a review of:
 I Like Ike Open in new Window. [E]
Nonsense really about things I like and things I like less than most other things.
by Nela Chau Author Icon
Review of I Like Ike  Open in new Window.
Review by Past Member 'blimprider'
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome WagonOpen in new Window.*Boat2*

         Good day to you, Nela Chau Author Icon, and I hope it finds you well. It's Wednesday, and the Blimpster's on the prowl for something to review. That makes this your lucky day *Rolling*. I am certainly no one to be telling anyone how to write, having myself managed to successfully avoid fame and fortune for over sixty years, but I flatter myself that I have learned a thing or two in my decades of chasing the dream. This little item caught my eye in the Read a Newbie sidebar, and while I usually go into great depth with my reviews, using a template that lends itself to detailed analysis of a traditional story, it doesn't much apply to this, so I'll be working without a net here.
         For the record, I am a casual and very occasional writer of mystery, fantasy, horror, and steampunk, and I try to review in a wide variety of styles and genres. I was the sole Honorable Mention for the 2021 Quill Award for Reviewing, so I'll have to see whether I can do better this year. As I said, I'm no authority, but hopefully my comments will give you some ideas to take your writing in directions you hadn't previously considered. Let me just drop a warning here, and we'll get started.

THIRD-PARTY READERS TAKE NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD

         The first thing a reader sees before he reads a word is the way the piece looks on the page, the Presentation, as I call it. There are many gaffes to be committed that will send a reader on to the next piece, shaking his head at your ineptitude, but none of those are apparent here, so full marks for presentation.
         As a footnote, the default font for everything here is a tiny version of Arial, an attractive font to be sure, but at this size it can start looking like the fine print on a used car contract. There are a number of ways to tweak the font here – this review is in 3.5 Verdana, for example – but the easiest way to make Arial "pop" is to place the command {size:3.5} at the head of the text. If you don't like the way it looks, just remove the command and it will revert to its original format.
         I usually have a lot to say about the importance of paragraphs, but this isn't really a story in the traditional sense, and the flush paragraphs work for it. Full marks here.

         The story itself, free verse, whatever, has a theme, and it's a nice one. At first you look at it and say, "Here's a list of things this author likes and doesn't like. Interesting, but ultimately pointless." Except that you give it a point, a profound one, with that closing sentence that will have the reader questioning his own response to the things around him for some time to come. That sentence gives what is otherwise a bit of fluff an impact that cannot be ignored. Great job!

         Another area I always look at is the Mechanics of a piece, the misspelled word, the misplaced comma, the wrong word used that changes the whole meaning of the piece, and I often have a lot to say about this. Not here. I couldn't find one thing to gripe about, and I tip my begoggled patrol cap to your editing skills.

SUMMARY: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* And there you have my words of "wisdom." I hope that I have presented my opinions in a way that is constructive, and that you will find helpful to your endeavors going forward. I thank you for sharing and exposing your work to the whims of public opinion, and I wish you a thrilling journey to wherever your writing takes you.

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