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 Review #4656407 |
 | Blank Page  [18+] Writers block  |
| (4.0)| Greetings, Bella! Welcome to this wondrous writing community for your second time around. You have certainly "overcome that first hurdle of getting started" by populating your port and exposing your work for public scrutiny. The following comments are offered in the spirit of friendly hospitality and constructive support, but they are nothing more than one man's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth. TITLE: The title of a poem is like the marquee on a theater. If there is nothing to spark some interest, the prospective reader is probably not going to enter. The sign on this door reflects the overwhelming inducement that anyone involved in this process understands very well. FORM & STRUCTURE: The consistent pattern of quatrains projects a sense of orderly contemplation, helps to control the pace, and sharpens the focus on each impression, so the reader can absorb each one more completely before moving along to the next. IMAGERY: Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the poet uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the poet SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the poet stirs an emotional response from the reader. While that "blank page" certainly presents an image with which we are all familiar, there are several instances of abstract terminology that could allow your audience to drift away, such as "all kinds of relationships" and "bad"/"sad." I believe you could strengthen your readers' connection to this expression by providing a few specific details, as former Poet Laureate Ted Kooser did in his poem Abandoned Farmhouse: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52935/abandoned-farmhouse . POETIC TECHNIQUE: Just as the conductor of a symphony orchestra controls the tempo and power of the music with a delicate nuance, a poet guides the pace and force of the poem by manipulating sounds through word selection and arrangement. If done well, rhyming can be pleasing to the ear and fun to create, testing the wit and ingenuity of the poet. It can also serve as an audible echo or resonance for emphasis. Additionally, rhyming can be an organizing device to create zones of similarity for your poems and linkage to connect different thoughts. The consistent pattern of rhyming couplets generates a rhythm to propel your narrative forward at a comfortable pace. The breaks in that pattern in the fifth and tenth stanzas interrupt that flow just a tad. OVERALL IMPRESSION: Art happens in two places: in writers' minds as they create it, and in readers' minds as they perceive it. Creative writers explore possibilities through a lens colored by past experience and share them with an unseen audience. They call upon a unique reservoir of such enlightenment, conceptual skill and innovative research to evoke some spiritual reaction from your audience--be it joy, melancholy, shock, or any of a thousand others. This was a thoroughly enjoyable presentation, especially that positive attitude displayed in the last line. Thank you for sharing! If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting with a few like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place " group. Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com. Let the creativity flow from your soul!  Dave "The Poet's Place " * All items are rated in accordance with the guidelines provided in "Comment-In-A-Box" . My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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