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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649251
Review #4649251
Viewing a review of:
 St. Patty’s Day: A Day of Irish Twists  [E]
The luck of the Irish on St. Patty’s Day - a poem.
by Tim Chiu
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
"The WDC Angel Army" 
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Hallo!
This one showed up on Random Reads. The title, brief description and genres work. The free verse structure imparts the information.

Well, I'll start by saying I don't know much about St. Patty's Day. In fact the only thing(s) I do know about it are what I've found out here on WdC, via various activities in honour of the day by various members.

Given this background, your poem left me wanting! *Ha* I guess this is a good thing! It gave me a glimpse, but not enough, and now I want more! More details about the clothes, the food, the decorations, the background ... anything! What you've written is well done, but doesn't cover the ground.

Since your poem is at a very basic level, it does seem to be for someone who doesn't have the knowledge already, so yeah, more!!

Also, I think I'd have liked a little more emotion. Does it mean something to the family, the child ...?

In terms of the layout, I'd suggest font, size, center, line-space and colour. Also maybe a cover pic.

Thanks for sharing this! *Shamrock*
Write On!
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