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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649118
Review #4649118
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In the swish of a tail  Open in new Window. [13+]
Three sleuths do more than chew on sushi. Gangsters are dumping goods in the black waters.
by Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon
Review by Cubby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A  Chapter 1 Image Review

My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


First Impression Witty and compelling. You begin by introducing your characters (the three sleuths) with a bit of humor talking about sushi (and such *Wink*). What a hoot it would be if you continued writing this story using these characters! I loved their humor and personalities up to this point. *Bigsmile* And the ending definitely left me wanting more. You've really got some great characters here.

Thoughts/Suggestions I found no typos. Good job! It was just a wee bit confusing with the untagged dialogue in the last section, but most of the time, I knew who was talking. *Wink*

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"Bingo. That fancy degree is paying off."
*Laugh* I loved this!

*Note* Please be sure not to make any changes till the winners are announced.

Best of luck in the contest!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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