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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649107
Review #4649107
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Review by Cubboo! (22!)
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.0)
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A  Chapter 1 Image Review

My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you and leave the rest.


First Impression First of all, I loved the title. *Bigsmile* Secondly, you seem to know something about trawlers, etc. Impressive! *Smile* I also liked that first paragraph as an opener. This is a good first chapter that grabs the reader's interest enough to continue to the next chapter. You leave enough questions for readers to make it intriguing: Like, Is the creature prehistoric? Where did it come from? What does it look like? Will it strike again? There is room for options, too. Nice work. *Smile*

Thoughts/Suggestions (just a few silly ol' typos)

He could see no damage but there was a small puddle of water accumulating, he returned to the deck. You might consider replace the last comma with either a period or a semi-colon. *Smile*

"Ok, on my way" Zekiel replied *Right* "Ok, on my way," Zekiel replied

"What is it Zeb?", asked Zekiel. *Right* "What is it Zeb?" asked Zekiel.

I'm also curious...Did you mean to begin most of the characters' names with a Z? Zekiel, Zeb, and Zach are all great names, of course. *Wink*

Favorites

This thing had broken through an area of the exterior hull and left its calling card.

Good job! Please be sure not to do any editing until the winners are announced. *Wink*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/25/2022 @ 8:09pm EST
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