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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649012
Review #4649012
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Review by Cubboo! (22!)
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (5.0)
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A  Chapter 1 Image Review

My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


First Impression I love what you did with the prompt. *Smile* This is well-written, crisp, and intriguing. I loved how you didn't feel the need to use dialogue tags each time someone spoke. Very nice showing instead of telling. The entire piece was clear, easy to read, and left me wanting to read more. Great work!

Thoughts/Suggestions

*Bullet* The cover read Merlin Gallery *Right* The cover read Merlin Gallery. (I'm not sure it's necessary, but emphasizing the title is something to consider. *Smile*)

Favorites

Jane mouthed "How does she do that?" Then out loud, "Yes, Ma'am?"


(and)

At the mention of the name, Jane held up two fingers in the shape of a cross. "Just keep him away from me."


Excellent! Best of luck in the contest!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/25/2022 @ 12:42pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649012