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Review #4636143
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Review by Jeannie's J... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi Mrs. Nixie Clause Author Icon


It is my pleasure to read your story, "The Heist" and give you a review.


*Sun*Reader's Reaction: It's not fair when the odds are stacked against Monica, thinking Patrick was a partner to trust. Well, finding that out too late had a drastic outcome for her.

*People* Characters/Dialog: The characters are well defined. All dialog is fast to read and easy to follow along. I do miss the descriptions, but I found out Monica was a red head and Patrick was a cad.

*Tree2* Emotion/Mood/Atmosphere: The emotion began with excitement and worry that they won't make their heist in time before the police show.

The mood is anxious, especially when the feds show up instead of the NYPD. A hint that this story took place in New York City.

The atmosphere heated up when the blame game began when Monica and Patrick got caught.

*Lightning2* Plot & Pace: The plot revolved around "Who outsmarts whom?" The woman, Monica, who wasn't an angel herself, and Patrick, who had connections.

The pace moved along smoothly with this all dialog story.

*Burstv*Structure/setting & Imagery: The narrative structure revolved around the plot, the content of a story and the form used to tell the story, referred to dramatic action; plus, trying to determine the key conflicts, main characters, setting and events. Well done!

*Rain* Favorite Lines:

"You gotta problem with the Feds?"

"Let's say we have a history." Patrick fished around in the safe. "Got it!"

"Gimme." Monica waggled her fingers.

Patrick unwrapped the pink diamond from the satin cloth and handed it to Monica.

"FBI! Hands up!"

*Idea* Overall Impression/Conclusion: Even if I suspected this would happen, I still didn't want this to happen. What does this say about me?

This story ended on a surprise for me. Oh well, it was either or.

*RainbowL*WriteOn!*RainbowR*


*ExclaimG* Thank you for sharing your work with us! *ExclaimG*

Jeannie's Jingle Bells☃️ Author Icon
I love the fantasy images at Leger's shop. I had a gift certificate, so I ordered two.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/05/2021 @ 12:06pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4636143