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Review #4619798
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To Love a Soldier Open in new Window. [ASR]
Two young people discovering each other.
by ~SilverMoonNoel~ Author Icon
Review of To Love a Soldier  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi ~SilverMoonNoel~ }, this review is part of the "A GHA Fundraiser" Open in new Window. (WDC Review-A-Thon). Thank You for requesting a review! I'll be looking at three main points.

Plot: This is a story about a young girl coming of age and a blossoming romance between her and the man of her dreams. It embodies the awkwardness and shyness inherent in the newly forming bond that grows and matures between the two main characters.

The story does draw the reader in, fostered by the need to learn of the outcome and a concern for the couple's happiness.

Characters: The two main characters are the unnamed girl and her unnamed Soldier/Beau. We learn about the girl's lack of world experience in dating. We also learn that the Soldier/Beau is a trusted, loyal and true companion.


Mechanics: Overall there is little distraction caused by a breakdown of the writing mechanics.

There are several typos that resulted in misspellings;

soppose = suppose, l8ke = like, etc. — proofreading will scrub them out.

There are some contractions that are missing their apostrophes.

Most, if not all of the errors I saw are of the typo type, fingers flying over the keyboard, sometimes faster than the eyes can follow. I would recommend cutting and pasting into Word or something similar to help weed out the errors.

I did notice that you tried to create the emdash using two hyphens, an easy way to do that is by using the WriteML code which looks like this {emdash} and gives you this —. Be sure to include both
brackets {}.

Since I assume that you will be entering contests here on WdC I want to take a moment to talk about word economy and the use of filler words. Filler words are words that take up space, but really don't contribute to the sentence meaning.

Filler words are words that take up space, but really don't contribute to the sentence meaning.

We all use them, but in a contest, those filler words steal valuable space that could be used more economically for telling our story. In the example above, the really doesn't add anything, nor further the description. Leaving it out doesn't change the meaning of the sentence. When you edit your work be on the lookout for filler words, getting rid of them first to meet word count limits and to help pick up the pace of your stories.

A word on presentation, there are many older eyes on WdC, and the default fonts are sometimes straining. You can make your work easier and more inviting for many to read with another bit of WriteML magic {font:verdana}{size:4}

Changes this sentence. — To this sentence.

I enjoyed this story and am very happy you shared it with us! Write On!

Like all reviews, this is based on one reader's opinion. The review is meant to be helpful and constructive. My opinion is not the end-all, be-all of the literary world and you should view that as such. Please use what works and disregard what doesn't. If anything I said needs further explanation or clarification please feel free to contact me Richard ~ Merry, Merry Author IconMail Icon

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 07/17/2021 @ 11:24pm EDT
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