Oh my. What a town to live and die in.

You don't mention if you wrote this for a contest or just for fun, but there is certainly a lot of mayhem going on. I noticed that you use the UK style punctuation around speech quotations. That is alright (I notice because I use the US way to punctuate), but you should clean up your piece for quite a few typos as well as simple readability.

A terrified voice began speaking "HELP THERE IS A WALL IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD", [full stop here - and new paragraph because there is someone else speaking] in complete confusion the officer said "What are you taking about" [question mark]
neighbour hood [one word]

Poor Phil. He seems to be the only one in the town who isn't a complete idiot. At least he has the sense to eat cereal. However, that did not help his head in the end.

Good little flash fiction with lots of action. Don Quixote comes to mind. And many other weird people. The Marx Brothers, even Buster Keaton. The slapstick is so funny in this. It would be worthy of cleaning up.