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 Review #4616373 |
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| (4.0)  Greetings, Izzy's Writing! I am reviewing this because because of your request.  I am no stranger to your writing from a few years back and always enjoyed the stories you shared.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  I like how you've spaced this in super-short paragraphs. It's a really lovely letter, Izzy.  I also love the title, as it's opposite of Broken Hearts. It's so nice to read an item that has positive love vibes. You obviously are a young woman in love! I like how you refer to yourselves as soulmates.  I think my favorite sentence is: I didn’t believe in “Mister Right” but I believed in love, even though my brain begged me not to fall, not to place another crack in my already bleeding heart. Beautiful!Suggestions to Consider Paragraph 2: When I first saw your shy face staring at me Maybe try a stronger verb here. Example:  When I first noticed your shy face staring at me Paragraph 5: I had never been one for logic, I’d always been one to I would suggest a semi-colon instead of a comma. I had never been one for logic; I’d always been one to Paragraph 9: someone that I’d given my heart too. someone I had given my heart to. If you don't need the word that in a sentence, don't use it. Also, I replaced too with to. Paragraph 10: took me to a journey took me on a journey Paragraph 12: Love isn’t something can be easily explain Love isn’t something that can be easily explained Final Thoughts At first, I thought about suggesting to shorten your long sentences, but the more I read on, the more I decided I liked your sentences running on as they did. There's this feel to it that I think makes it real, emotional, and gives it its own tone. I like that! It thrills me that you are so happy, Izzy! Your letter is beautiful.Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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