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Review #4611954
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Post Has Arrived  Open in new Window.
Review by Starling Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Title: Review: Post Has Arrived by Shaye - Romance/Love


The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with the intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer. {/center}


Title and Author: Post Has Arrived by Shaye

In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
c:black}Your Words:
Review comments
My Impressions as I read:
Editing Suggestions:

Plot::
It is Barbara’s one-hundredth birthday and George has arranged for a surprise for her. He has made sure the Queen sent a birthday card to his very special person.

Opening Sentence and Paragraph:
The opening sentence lets us know the letter George is accepting for the postman is very important and he is happy it arrived. I think I would have liked to see some type of blurb explaining the relationship between George and Barbara, although I am taking it from the wording of the last sentence, they are a married couple.

Characters Development:
We learn through action of the story, both of the people are old.

Dialogue:
Minimal dialogue but it fits with the characters.

Punctuation and Structure:
Very few mistakes were found. I have noted them below in the line-to-line review.

Closing Statement
It is nice to know this is still a custom. In the United States, you can have a letter sent from the President. Thank you so much for posting.

Starling



---------------------------------


Arriving exactly on time, George took the post from the young lad, grinning widely as he did so.

"Barbara, I've got another surprise for you."

The envelope was thick and beautiful. He handed it to her, smile still plastered on his face.

Barbara handled it gingerly, unwilling to rip it.

Tears welled up as she read, "'I am so pleased to know that you are celebrating your one hundredth (hyphenated) birthday'(remove single quote mark)." Barbara's voice cracked. "Signed by Her Majesty, the Queen."

She broke down, sobbing, "Thank you so much, George. This means so much to me."

"Happy hundredth, love."


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