\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4611904
Review #4611904
Viewing a review of:
 The Potter's Cup and Saucer Open in new Window. [ASR]
The delicate and perfectly formed saucer wondered what happened to her matching cup.
by Kenzie Author Icon
Review by Starling Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Title: Review: The Potter’s Cup and Saucer By Marilyn Mackenzie


The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with the intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer. {/center}


Title and Author: The Potter’s Cup and Saucer By Marilyn Mackenzie

In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
c:black}Your Words:
Review comments
My Impressions as I read:
Editing Suggestions:

Plot::
A cup and saucer are made but have to take a journey to find each other.

Opening Sentence and Paragraph:
The opening paragraph gets us into the action of the story immediately.

Characters Development:
Personification is sometimes difficult to use and develop characters. You did an excellent job giving both the saucer and the cup personality.

Punctuation and Structure:
Suggestions below in the story.

Closing Statement
This was very well done. I love personification and use it often in some of my work. Your use of metaphor was spot on. Thank you for posting.

Starling





The Potter’s mighty hands performed a miracle in creating a delicate and perfectly formed saucer. From the Potter’s wheel to the fiery kiln, He lovingly guided her. As her forming process was completed, He stamped His creator’s markings lovingly upon her.

As she sat alone on the shelf, she did marvel at her own beauty. But what good was she – a saucer alone? She envied the beautiful bud vase. Just one rose bud (one word) or one bright daisy placed in the tiny vase transformed it into a true masterpiece. And the large flower vase, filled with a grand bouquet, looked stately and proud.

But what of her? What good was the beautiful saucer without a matching cup? Rather than ask the Potter his plan, she set out on her own to find her matching cup.


**********

Shortly after the Potter finished creating the beautiful saucer, He began forming the perfect cup as well. The same mighty yet loving hands placed a mound of clay upon the Potter’s wheel. The resulting cup was beautifully formed and placed in the fiery kiln for hardening and completion. The Potter’s stamp showed at the bottom of the shiny, new cup.

Just like the saucer, the cup didn’t wait for the Potter’s help. He set out on his own, seeking his partner, the saucer designed just for him.

**********

The delicate saucer couldn’t find her match. The world was full of large cups and even larger mugs. Some shared the same design pattern. But when paired together with a large mug, she was overwhelmed, lost, often chipped (need comma) and broken. Still (need comma) she searched.

**********

The delicately designed cup couldn’t find his match either. Placed upon a dinner plate of matching design, his own beauty and usefulness was were hidden. Without that perfect indentation on which he should rest found only, it seemed, in the saucer designed solely for him, he often toppled over. His exterior was chipped and no longer perfect.


**********


The delicate cup and saucer, once perfectly formed by the Master Potter, wandered aimlessly looking for their perfect match. Each stopped, finally, and asked the Potter’s help. Once He was asked, He offered His assistance, but not before.

The cup and saucer were finally united. No longer brand new, each one with exterior chips and flaws, the two united.

They discovered that they were, indeed, a perfect match. Their designs were perfectly matched. The cup fit perfectly into the grooves of the saucer; it would no longer topple over. The saucer would no longer be covered roughly and damaged by a cup too large and heavy for her delicate nature.

They discovered, too, that where his outward flaws appeared was where she remained intact. Where her chips appeared was where he maintained strength. Where one had chinks in the armor, the other’s shield was still whole.

Although no longer shiny, bright (need comma) and new, the cup and saucer were made to be together. They rejoiced knowing that when his cup overflowed, she would be there to catch the drips.

Each of them had the creator’s mark, stamped upon them by the Potter. FROG – fully reliant on God.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You ignored this review. Undo
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4611904