%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4602195 |
  Greetings, bobturn, I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest "  . First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Looks great! Easy to understand Yes Followed the prompt Yes Internal Conflict: Tony's mother thinks he is too old to carry around his Teddy bear. That is, until she and Fuzzy Bear become pals.   Characters: Tony and his mom Dialogue: Good dialogue Setting: Home, mostly Technicalities: “I can barely bear the thought,” Tony’s mother’s hands wrestled --> “I can barely bear the thought[.]” Tony’s mother’s hands wrestled Period should replace comma since there is no dialogue tag.   “What is wrong, mom?” --> “What is wrong, [M]om?” start sleeping alone.” Tony’s mom said faintly --> start sleeping alone[,]” Tony’s mom said faintly of your own, Start searching for --> of your own, [s]tart searching for  Fuzzy bear --> Fuzzy [B]ear Favorites: His mom gasped at getting caught kidnapping Fuzzy and fell on Tony’s bed in a swoon. Good visual! Old friends should never be cast off or forgotten. They deserve a forever place in our hearts.  And the neatest thing of all is fuzzy hugs are free. Final thoughts: What a sweet and kind heart you possess, Bob! Your story about hugs comes at a time when many of us are missing them! Perhaps everyone should own a Teddy bear.  Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You responded to this review 03/14/2021 @ 11:48am EDT