%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4597320 |
 | Digital Valentine  [E] A new idea for digital cards  |
| (3.5)  Greetings, bas! I am reviewing this because I am part of "Merit Badge Exchange" .  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  I don't really know how something like a digitalized greeting card would go over, but since we both had the very same idea (I wrote something similar for the contest), perhaps others do, too. Perhaps we should put a patent on it!  I loved the ending.  Yep, always check with the approval of the wife first.  Suggestions to Consider You might want to scan through this piece and perhaps polish it off here and there. I noticed a few punctuation typos, such as: in our times , that was true love”  in our times[,] that was true love[.]” I've made the recommendations in [ ]. “Well Love is in the air now too, but I guess in a different way. “Well[,] [l]ove is in the air now too, but I guess in a different way.["] then take the trouble of going to the shop and buying a card” th[a]n take the trouble of going to the shop and buying a card[.]” “Well, I can’t contradict that,so I say we change our approach too “Well, I can’t contradict that,so I say we change our approach too “Well, I can’t contradict that,[space]so I say we change our approach[,] too[."] I won't keep picking out punctuation typos, but I'm sure you get the drift. Chances are, you haven't edited this yet. I've noticed especially at the end of most of your dialogue, you have left out punctuation. “And how do you plant to do that” “And how do you [plan] to do that[?]” “Do you have any idea who expensive the card is going to be” “Do you have any idea [how] expensive the card is going to be[?]” And also, lets should be a contraction --> let's Final Thoughts Wow, great minds think alike! While your story is a little different than mine, there's so much that is similar! Maybe there's something to that idea!  Also, if you go back and polish this piece off, let me know and I'll be happy to raise the rating! Best of luck in the contest! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You responded to this review 02/16/2021 @ 4:19am EST