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Review #4596316
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Lovina Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi iguanamountain -

This is a review for Part 3 of
FORUM
The Lodestar Contest Open in new Window. (13+)
Looking for a guiding light. May 2024 round is open, looking for short stories.
#2130938 by Satuawany Author IconMail Icon


*Starw* Please keep in mind these are just my opinions and they carry only the weight you give them! *StarW*

Overall Impression: Nice use of the prompt and a totally unexpected ending!

Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:

1. In this section - I'd have to be somewhere else to send back - send back what?

2. In this section - He's been traveled to the test destination - you may want to eliminate "been".

3. In this section - He walked in a circle around Preston. " - is this part of his speech?

4. In this section - then shocked that that the molded depression - you may want to eliminate the extra "that".

5. In this section - Does the Princess Tamesha have a home - who is Tamesha?

Readability: An entertaining read.

Suggestions: He had a phone, why didn't he call to find out if he could bring the Princess back with him?

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina *Paw*

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#544247 by The StoryMistress Author IconMail Icon


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/11/2021 @ 10:37am EST
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