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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4596140
Review #4596140
Viewing a review of:
Stir Crazy Open in new Window. [13+]
lodestar contest part 2 & 4 entry
by Pumpkin Spice Sox Author Icon
Review of Stir Crazy  Open in new Window.
Review by Lovina Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Let's have a sox to sox talk -

This is a review for part 3 of
FORUM
The Lodestar Contest Open in new Window. (13+)
Looking for a guiding light. May 2024 round is open, looking for short stories.
#2130938 by Satuawany Author IconMail Icon


*Starw* Please keep in mind these are just my opinions and they carry only the weight you give them! *StarW*

Overall Impression: A great use of the prompt! Poor John, that's a long time to be alone!

Spelling/Grammar: I found only one spelling/grammar error for you to consider:

1. In this section - the cultures they base had in stock - you may want to change "they" to "the".

Readability: A great first draft, an easy and enjoyable read.

Suggestions: My only suggestion would be to find one or two synonyms for "hallucination" so that "hallucination" isn't so repetitive throughout the story.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina *Paw*

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#544247 by The StoryMistress Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/09/2021 @ 10:49pm EST
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