Greetings, bobturn, I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest " . First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Easy to understand Followed the prompt & rules Characters: Jenny Play and her mom Summary: Jenny Play loves her last name because that's what she prefers to do...play instead of doing her chores. Her mother agrees to a deal—if she buys Jenny skates, her daughter will do her chores. Technicalities: In Stanza 2: came to soon. --> came too soon. - You just forgot the extra o in to. Favorites: Jenny Play loved her last name She loved to do what it said. When her mom asked for help Jenny wanted to play instead of cleaning her room or making her bed. (Loved this opening! How creative!) “You’re skating on thin ice,” her mother said. (I've heard these words from my own parents! Long ago, of course.) Final thoughts: I always enjoy reading your creations, Bob. You are very talented. Thank you for entering the contest! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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