Hey Octavius it's me again.
First, I'd like to say how you stayed your course. You've been on point this whole bet of books and this is no different. You are good at telling stories and that's something I have to get back to.

I see nothing that would indicate that you were going off on a tangent here everything was on point and understandable. Zen was very believable as a military trainer. And Cody was good as a wimpy cadet. He made some goofy mistakes which people will often do under pressure. I wasn't sure about something at the end of that part though, right before they all attacked him. Was he supposed to try to kill them? Or was he simply stating that in a real battle they may not all make it? And also, why would he want to tell Drake to get to know them if they were just going to die anyway? A hard-nosed drill instructor wouldn't have cared much about that and he's supposed to be training them to survive after all. Knowing something and saying something are two different things unless he was trying to scare off Drake or use some other form of intimidation that went over my head.

Can I be Frank? (If not that's totally fine, I can still be Marty.) I wasn't too thrilled with how the ending went. The wall will be finished by tomorrow and that would block off all the wind current that keeps the island afloat. right? If it would be finished tomorrow then of course I would have to use some sort of elite strike team NOW. Tomorrow the island falls to the earth destroying their home island. And even if that were not the case and they were just getting really close I would not let my wife deter me from my work at saving their home and I certainly wouldn't be relaxed enough to lay back and stare at the ceiling.

From the last chapters that I read, that's what would happen if the wall went up, please correct me if I'm wrong. The only other things that I see needed improvement were some grammatical and typo situations. Case and point; "Cody’s chest beats hard against his chest". You could replace the first 'chest' with heart and it wouldn't sound so redundant. I think it would just make it a little smoother to read and less distracting.

Other than that I think the chapter rolled out pretty smoothly and the dialog was very believable, at least in the way people talk. You definitely still got it going on. now keep on writing, and if you want me to re-read any re-writes of any of the chapters just let me know if you do.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .