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 Review #4508913 |
 | Faith Comes From Everywhere  [E] What is faith? Times like these ask us to examine just what it means, especially today.  |
| (4.0)  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Hello Phil Thomas , I'm Whata, nice to read your item "Faith Comes From Everywhere" entered into "The 4 Controversies Contest" Thanks for sharing your work with the us, and the WDC community.  OBLIGATORY BLURB I hope you find this 'lil review helpful, but do not hesitate to send me a message if you'd like any clarifications. This is where I tell you I am not an editor, just a reader who dabbles in writing. Yes, I am bit of a hard 'butt' when it comes to reviewing non-fiction, and especially in judging my contests. Please realize that a '5'  rating means very-near PERFECTION to moi. Please take my suggestions, or leave em—it's your 'baby'  Always listen to your instinct, unless proven incorrect. Ba da ba BING! CONTENT COMMENTS I find religious schools rather fascinating. I can’t imagine what it must be like to not hide or shy away from an organized religion, but to be surrounded by it. I found your entry to be interesting, especially your evolution through Catholicism into what you do not name but is certainly a faith more suited to your ideals. I too don’t ascribe to any one ‘faith’, nor any formal religion, but the word and its connotations give my life meaning  GENERAL SUGGESTIONS This isn’t really an ‘E’ rated write, as they are meant for very young children. I would think an ASR rating would be appropriate. It takes a while to get used to the rating system here, no biggie! One thing I can suggest is in this type of opinionated writing, you may want to give your opinion first and then provide examples through your story; this will shore up the opinionated, controversial slant that is the cornerstone of this particular contest  You did do this beginning in the last third or so of your entry.You make some very good points about the differences between manmade biblical practices and God’s stated parameters thereof. . I really like how you stated that we have forgotten to feel Him in our lives, and how some are too dependent on the Bible. Rather, I would add, how some are too dependent on their interpretations of the Bible’s meanings, making it fit their purposes. You know, for the reasons you point out, I do question whether satan is more an example or foil for us to learn off of—a learning tool, if you will. Also to spiritually interfere in our lives to throw a few rocks into the spokes of our wheels; not make things too easy for us here. That one I’ll have to croak to know I guess   EDIT Suggestion (A) I was never one to take anything as “Gospel Truth”, when... Should be: I was never one to take anything as ‘the gospel truth’, EDIT Suggestion (B) In general, many of the sentences can be tightened up with a bit more punctuation, including transitions. We all have our own styles, but you do have several areas where you use two sentences to convey one idea that can easily be merged. As you say in your biography, you’re just starting out in writing and you’re only going to improve! FINAL THOUGHTS I too spent (much!) time in bookstores researching different philosophies and people to come up with my ‘own’ belief system. Effective, that. I enjoyed reading this entry and look forward to more from you in the future! Well, I can hope, right  (Adrienne) or just 'Whata'    How-To for WdC Stuff WhataLand Warehouse Click Da Pics to Magically POOF! There Lessons to Play With  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 10/12/2019 @ 11:16pm EDT