Hi, ruwth !

          Overall +/- :
My thoughts on the piece as a whole...

         I heard about this poem from you in your comment on mine for this same challenge, and I'm so happy to have a chance to read it as a fellow participant in "I Write." You really spoke the truth—this is a rather sad take on solitude. It seems simple at first glance, but I think the repetition really lends weight to the dreary monotony and loneliness you're trying to convey.

          Rhythm & Flow:
Whether freeverse or tightly-structured formal poetry, flow is paramount.

         This is a freeverse poem with no discernible rhyme or meter. You use repetition and concrete imagery to evoke emotion. Nice work!

          Language & Word Choice:
Because poetry is one of the briefer art forms, every word matters.

         I like your use of examples to evoke the feeling of loneliness without every giving it a name. The use of repetition at the beginning of each line (A single...) and often at the end (a prepositional phrase) makes the poem feel like a litany, which works well with the content.

          Things I liked :
Sometimes phrases or lines jump off the page.

A single breath whispering a prayer.
A single heart beating life's drum. — These, to me, were the most evocative images!

          Suggestions:
Take them with a grain of salt.

A single woman living out my days. — this "my" was actually a bit jarring, since first person perspective shows up nowhere else in the poem. Perhaps changing "my" to "her" could smooth the flow out?

          In Closing:
Any final thoughts...

         Thank you for sharing this poem!

Write On!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .