Hi Tomoko,
This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering why stressing about something that hasn't happened. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. In the story, a shop lifter has someone worrying about what would happen if the supermarket at which their parents work went bankrupt. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)Mom said What I was doing after school, but I couldn’t answer.-Should read "Mom asked what I was doing after school, but I couldn't answer."

2)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.