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![]() | Little Poems - Haiku - Tanka - Etc ![]() A place to share my little poems, haiku, tanka, than bauk, 24 Syllable, etc ![]() |
Hi Tinker ![]() I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ![]() ![]() Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful. First Impressions: This poem is perfect. Firstly, the way you have centred it looks really nice. Then, the actual words ... You do a great job of summing up what the 24 Syllables contest is about. It does take a lot of discipline and hard work to make the poem exactly the right amount of syllables. Personally, I find it much easier to write 24 lines than 24 syllables. Rhythm: Although only four lines, there is a fantastic rhythm. Your use of enjambment between every line is a clever way of maintaining this rhythm. It flows, and it's easy to read. My Favourite Part: I love the last line! The internal rhyme of the short e in stretch and condense is pure brilliance. It makes the poem sound fantastic. I have nothing that could make this poem any better. It's perfect just as it is. I know this is purely aesthetical, but I love the colour you chose for the word regale. It looks pretty. Which, I know, isn't the point of the poem, but it does help to make it look appealing. Great work, Tink. Keep writing! Choconut ![]() ![]()
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