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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4484993
Review #4484993
Viewing a review of:
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Little Poems - Haiku - Tanka - Etc Open in new Window. [E]
A place to share my little poems, haiku, tanka, than bauk, 24 Syllable, etc
by Tinker Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "24 Syllable Forum" Open in new Window.
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Tinker Author Icon,

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. It is also part of "I Write in 2019" Open in new Window..

Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: This poem is perfect. Firstly, the way you have centred it looks really nice. Then, the actual words ... You do a great job of summing up what the 24 Syllables contest is about. It does take a lot of discipline and hard work to make the poem exactly the right amount of syllables. Personally, I find it much easier to write 24 lines than 24 syllables.

Rhythm: Although only four lines, there is a fantastic rhythm. Your use of enjambment between every line is a clever way of maintaining this rhythm. It flows, and it's easy to read.

My Favourite Part: I love the last line! The internal rhyme of the short e in stretch and condense is pure brilliance. It makes the poem sound fantastic.

I have nothing that could make this poem any better. It's perfect just as it is. I know this is purely aesthetical, but I love the colour you chose for the word regale. It looks pretty. Which, I know, isn't the point of the poem, but it does help to make it look appealing. Great work, Tink.

Keep writing!

Choconut

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4484993