%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4466119 |
 |  | Cloudburst  [E] The revelations of rain... (Form: Free Verse) A Shadows and Light Entry  |
| (4.0)   Happy February Ken! It is lovely to enter your vision of rain that reminds me of warmer weather. We are in the freeze up here! LOLYour title is effective and makes me think of a vibrant energy surprise! It is perfect for your reflective and detailed observations of rain. The last line image is a brilliantsimile. I love it! Your free verse was a good choice for the variety of images and notions about rain. The descriptions are vivid and I appreciated such words as "argent", "velvet" and "flashes". The first image is so appealing and suggests nurture. The first verses flow well and the later verses are longer, more explanatory. In verse 6 I found the third-fifth lines abit unweildy and you use the less descriptive word "awesome" twice in the poem. Maybe something simpler like "or remind us of the strength of nature". In the second last verse you used three ly adverbs...maybe something more vivid could increase potency of your idea. I want to read the word "revealed" at the end of line 2 in the last verse but I see you wanted to rhyme. So the word "a" before "meaning" might make it flow better. Just my view. LOL Effective use of assonance and consonance added to the dynamic flow and soundscape. The first four verses and the last were my favourites for flow. Rhyming with "coalesce" was cool!Thanks for sharing this thoughtful vision of rain and its effect on nature and us! 
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You responded to this review 02/01/2019 @ 9:49pm EST