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Given: Nov 11, 2018 at 5:38am
Length: 841 Characters |
841 w/o WritingML
What I Liked:
- I thought it was a happy story that was heart-warming and had a nice pay-off, so emotionally I thought it was a good read and would be good for little kids.
- I never tried writing stories before, so I thought it was just cool to see someone tell a full story in 500 words, like one that could work as a short kids' book.
What Could Be Improved:
- If you are writing from the dog's point of view, maybe don't use the word "street-sweeper" since a dog would not know what one is, and instead talk about how the dog just sees a weird thing going down the street making noise.
- Same for the vet. or other things, I would try to make it seem more like it is from a dog's point of view, and write it using weird descriptions like how a dog would see the world instead of like the dog was thinking like a human.
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