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Review #4385791
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings, Shade!
I don’t read fantasy very often, but I liked this.
You did a nice job of describing your ride on this unicorn named ‘Lavender’, (especially with the beautiful colors you used), and having dawn as a physical being named ‘Dawn’ was a great idea. Then to hand her the ‘Key to the Gates of Dawn’ was ingenious!
But it seemed to have a bit of a sad undertone by having to have a key to open that beautiful morning, as if there was some dark overlord who had blocked out Dawn, and each morning (as Dawn mentioned) a ‘hero’ has to retrieve it.
One tiny niggle, one comment:
“Thank you(,) Lavender,” my voice quivered...’
‘Her translucent horn sparkled with the same golden color of her eyes.’ (nice!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Shade! Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!

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