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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4384335
Review #4384335
Viewing a review of:
 Presence in the Clouds Open in new Window. [E]
My thoughts free style.
by Charlotte Gray Author Icon
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Charlotte Gray!
For your 1st piece on here, this isn't bad. It's a 'casual' piece (I read your short port intro), and it tells the reader just what you're doing with your existence on not only Writing.Com, but probably life in general.
When you look at the grand scheme of things, we're all pretty infinitesimal creatures on this planet.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and I also like how you used that comparison to Peter Pan.
My only suggestion would be to expand on this a little bit.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Charlotte, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!

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