\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4382264
Review #4382264
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello there, Arsuit!
For one of your 1st pieces on here, this is pretty good. You did a good job of setting this up with Stacey being so withdrawn and then quickly throwing the reader into the situation at your poker buddy's house (I actually had to read that beginning twice to get the gist of it-not enough coffee this morning *Laugh*).
The idea of finding your poker buddy in such a bloody situation was well told, and your descriptions were great; the similes and metaphors really stood out. But it was that twisted/surprise ending that made this shine. I'm pretty sure poor Stacey did find out about the mistress... *Smirk*
Flawless spelling (thank you!) and grammar, and the whole piece flowed smoothly. My only suggestion, which really isn't a suggestion at all, would be to add mystery and perhaps thriller to the genres. Just an idea.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Arsuit, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

PPPS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

My latest 'Angus' signature

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4382264