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Given: Dec 19, 2017 at 2:15pm
Length: 1,434 Characters |
1,058 w/o WritingML
Bon jour, Jeff, and happy (belated) birthday! As a lover of horror, I thought this was great! The idea of having little kids go to the doctor on separate days for their shots was a good plot, and I love how threw that twist in there with Dr. Rydell not being the good doctor everybody thought he was! I was reminded of two different movies here: One being Little Shop of Horrors where the dentist, Steve Martin, sadistically goes after Bill Murray, who loves going to the dentist, and two, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Very well told for a short horror piece, my friend. And ironically, it has just the right amount of words:666, the number of the beast! And you couldn't have titled it any better! Sorry to be so picky, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
"No one can hear you(.)" Dr. Rydell asserted as he secured...' (comma)
'Leonard('s) body convulsed and a scream died in his throat...' Kee ponw ritin gon, Jeff! It was a pleasure to read, and...
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