Hi Miss Darkchild, I am reviewing your short story "Quitting Dolce" on the behalf of Game of Thrones here on WDC.

♥ This short story is about a woman named Lilly whose walking home from and on her way home she spots a new fall line displayed in the window of Dolce and Gabbanna.

♥ Things I noticed/specific suggestions: This short seems to be well written. I believe that you should do another read through, because some of your punctuation is not needed in my opinion.

For example: Her mind's racing, half of it screaming, "Get OUT!" and the other half sweetly whispering, "It won't be so bad."

I think it would read better like: "Her mind was racing. Half of it screamed, "Get out!" and the other half sweetly whispered, "It won't be so bad."

♥ Spelling/Grammar: I did not notice any spelling mistakes, nor grammar errors.

♥ Overall: With a little more work this short story could be greatly improved. I enjoyed myself nonetheless though. I like that you separated the paragraphs, but I am not sure if all the indents presented add to the story.

This review was given freely in thanks for a writing that was written freely

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