\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4355959
Review #4355959
Viewing a review of:
Image Protector
Wine, Baby Open in new Window. [13+]
A future husband and wife go on their first date.
by slowmotionsunset Author Icon
Review of Wine, Baby  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Cadie here reviewing on behalf of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.
I want to first welcome you to Writing.com (WDC). This is really great community to be a part of.

Overall Impressions~
You're written an interesting poem. The description makes me wonder what's going on? I had to spin this in my head a couple of times in order get it. A future husband and wife, they will be married in the future. This is a picture of their first date. I think that's how I am to understand what you've written.
With that in mind, here's what I don't understand. How a child comes from one glass of wine. It's like the characters drank too much and had a baby from the wine they drank. You describe the relationship after the baby is born then in the end feel that the child was a mistake. Maybe I've missed the meaning completely. Feel free to correct me.
I don't understand the story in your poem. It doesn't seem complete or it's missing pieces.

Conclusions~
You've got the beginnings of a good poem, I think it needs some tweaking. This was probably not a review you were expecting. I really mean you no harm in reviewing this.

Thank you for sharing, Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/25/2017 @ 7:10pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4355959